MR. FAMILY OUTED!??

ACCORDING TO THESE PICTURES

FROM

THE SOCK PUPPETS FROM HELL.COM
THESE PICS ARE OF MR FAMILY!!!

IF IT IS MR FAMILY,

PEOPLE IN GLASS HOUSES SHOULDN’T THROW STONES!!!

My wife and I do volunteer work at a soup kitchen. Quite frankly, most of people who come in for meals are better dressed than THE ALLEGED Mr. Family is in these pictures. The man looked an absolute mess to be at a prayer meeting/rally. Couldn’t he have worn a clean shirt bowling shirt for Jesus? Cleanliness is next is Godliness or so they say. The Salvation Army was right around the corner from that rally and the clothes they sell are clean! Mr Family could have picked up a new used set of duds quite cheaply. After all, Mr Family’s scheme to make money from his website was shot down after many people told him anonymous people soliciting money on the internet was illegal.
Perhaps that money he would not have to account for would have been laundered by a new washer and dryer, loads of detergent and deoderent.

And with a neck like Mr. Family’s, I would stay out of the woods during turkey hunting season.
Going hunting with Dick Cheney is not an option! Lucky, It didn’t rain the day of the rally, as Mr Family would have drowned as many turkeys do when they are left out in the rain.

Mr. Fatty er I mean Mr. Family already had enough spare tires around his waist for a fleet of Cadillacs and these pics were taken before he spent those months behind the computer telling us that a steady diet of M & M’s would be bad for our health. God only knows what he looks like now. I bet it’s not pretty. My wife, who rarely says an unkind word about anyone, said " Imagine that on top of you, panting away, I’d slit my wrists."

One can almost understand Mr. Family’s frustration with the G-club being on the way to his favorite eateries. He became irritable counting cars and missed counting many because he was afraid the Old Tyme Country Buffet would run out of Spare Ribs before he got there.

And as far as Mr. Family thinking he saw a woman carrying a baby into the club, well, those drooping eyelids of his probably got in his line of vision. And yes, he forgot the camera, but he remembered the Kryspy Creme Donuts & the Ben & Jerry’s.

Seriously though, here is a morbidly obese man telling those who go to strip clubs they have an sexual addiction problem. Since Mr Family is so fond of quoting the bible, "get the spec out of your own eye before the eye of your brother". We all know that obesity causes heart disease, stroke and diabetes, as well as numerous other diseases. All we have to do is look at that gut Mr Family has and know HIS days are numbered.
No wonder he stayed in the closet.

Here's a few questions for Mr. Family:

You do not want to meet your maker next week Mr Family, do you?

You want to stay here and hope that the club closes in next 20 years or so then you can claim the credit, don't you? You want to stay on earth and tell everyone else how to live their life, don’t you?
Then, you need to get your food addiction under control, Mr Family before you can help others. It is just that simple.

So, here’s the deal, Mr. Family. Lose 70 or 80 pounds, shower, shave, get some new clean, clothes, then, email some pictures of your "brand new self" and we will sit down and talk about our shortcomings. Sound fair? None of us want to be hypocrites especially you. After all, Mr Family, we love you like a brother, even though you are a lying, self- righteous, contemptible, enormous, fat pig.

And thanks to my Buddy Mr Choice, for letting me know know about these pics!

ACCORDING TO THESE PICTURES FROM THE SOCK PUPPETS FROM HELL.COM,
THESE PICS ARE OF MR FAMILY!!! IF IT IS MR FAMILY, PEOPLE IN GLASS HOUSES SHOULDN’T THROW STONES!!!
My wife and I do volunteer work at a soup kitchen. Quite frankly, most of people who come in for meals are better dressed than THE ALLEGED Mr. Family is in these pictures. The man looked an absolute mess to be at a prayer meeting/rally. Couldn’t he have worn a clean shirt bowling shirt for Jesus? Cleanliness is next is Godliness or so they say. The Salvation Army was right around the corner from that rally and the clothes they sell are clean! Mr Family could have picked up a new used set of duds quite cheaply. After all, Mr Family’s scheme to make money from his website was shot down after many people told him anonymous people soliciting money on the internet was illegal.
Perhaps that money he would not have to account for would have been laundered by a new washer and dryer, loads of detergents and deoderent.
And with a neck like Mr. Family’s, I would stay out of the woods during turkey hunting season.
Going hunting with Dick Cheney is not an option! Lucky, It didn’t rain the day of the rally, as Mr Family would have drowned as many turkeys do when they are left out in the rain.
Mr. Fatty er I mean Mr. Family already had enough spare tires around his waist for a fleet of Cadillacs and these pics were taken before he spent those months behind the computer telling us that a steady diet of M & M’s would be bad for our health. God only knows what he looks like now. I bet it’s not pretty. My wife, who rarely says an unkind word about anyone, said " Imagine that on top of you, panting away, I’d slit my wrists."
One can almost understand Mr. Family’s frustration with the G-club being on the way to his favorite eateries. He became irritable counting cars and missed counting many because he was afraid the Old Tyme Country Buffet would run out of Spare Ribs before he got there.
And as far as Mr. Family thinking he saw a woman carrying a baby into the club, well, those drooping eyelids of his probably got in his line of vision. And yes, he forgot the camera, but he remembered the Kryspy Creme Donuts & the Ben & Jerry’s.
Seriously though, here is a morbidly obese man telling those who go to strip clubs they have an sexual addiction problem. Since Mr Family is so fond of quoting the bible, "get the spec out of your own eye before the eye of your brother". We all know that obesity causes heart disease, stroke and diabetes, as well as numerous other diseases. All we have to do is look at that gut Mr Family has and know your days are numbered.
No wonder you stayed in the closet. You do not want to meet your maker next week Mr Family
do you? You want to stay here and hope that the club closes in next 20 years or so then you can claim the credit? You want to stay on earth and tell everyone else how to live their life, don’t you?
Then, you need to get your food addiction under control, Mr Family before you can help others. It is just that simple.
So, here’s the deal, Mr. Family. Lose 70 or 80 pounds, shower, shave, get some new clean, clothes, then, email some pictures of your "brand new self" and we will sit down and talk about our shortcomings. Sound fair? None of us want to be hypocrites especially you. After all, Mr Family, we love you like a brother, even though you are a lying, self- righteous, contemptible, enormous, fat pig.

MR FAMILY COMES CLEAN!!!

THIS IS A MR FAMILY PARODY.


Some of you have been e-mailing me, asking me questions like, where are the car pictures,
what happened to the Citadel billboard stories, why have you thrown in the towel?

I have devoted a lot of time making up stories, and repeating gossip and rumors hoping I would attract media attention and become a celebrity. I have done so, believing politicians, religious leaders and the public would follow me blindly. That didn’t happen. I also began posting pictures of cars parked at the club trying to scare people away. That didn’t happen either. To make people believe it was working, I began saying the club was failing, the club wasn’t paying it’s bills, the parking lot was empty and I had people counting cars!

In March, the G-club reached the one year mark. I predicted it would close by the end of 2006. In that time, I made up many lies including " there’s a baby in the
club" Nobody, including the police, believed me. It was embarrassing that the police laughed at me and the club had a video proving it was a shopping bag not a baby being carried into the club.

In a desperate effort to attract media attention, I mounted a crusade against a billboard owned by a local radio station. It backfired badly.
Citadel Broadcasting issued a Cease and Desist Order against me for all the lies I made up about their radio station.

I removed the car pics because they violated the privacy of the patrons of the club and I was afraid I would get sued. It was no fun writing the updates if I have to tell the truth. It's too late now to save Mr Family, but it's not too late to save my ass from future legal trouble.

I know that very few of you will be disappointed, but I will be taking an extended break from the regular updates. If the G-Club. actually does close in the next several years, I will come back to take the credit. Meanwhile, I will instill the moral values elsewhere that I have used here:
It is ok to lie to get what you what & when you get caught run and hide. Also Never take
responsibility for your actions, always blame someone else.

Maybe I'm wrong, but I can't help feeling that I have screwed up big time.
Your turn.

MR. FAMILY: BLUNDER AFTER BLUNDER

Mr Family is on "break" and he blames the township of Wilkes-Barre. But back in April, he was whistling a different tune He was saying he was going to band together the residents of Luzerne county, and unite the religious and political leaders through his blogsite. " People in this county are like me" he claimed. "I am a family man." No one wants a place like that"
It's on the way to Chuck E. Cheese's.

He goes on "with my efforts I’ll bet you by year’s end, the club will be closed." He also boasts, " the pictures of the cars that I will have on my website will keep men at home with their wives and children". Later he says "I have people watching the parking lot, and I know the pictures are keeping people away." How many time have we read on his blogsite that he passes by club and there were only a few cars parked in the lot? Well if all this is true, why are there not any more pictures? Why were they taken down? Why hasn’t the club closed? Truth is Mr Family was lying through his teeth. Mr Family made one blunder after another which I will detail here.

1. Remaining Anonymous- This was one of his biggest blunders. It cost Mr Family credibility and respectabability.
Mr. Family began by trying to collect money for a billboard he was going to post, advertising his efforts. That idea quickly came to an end, when Elaine Cook, Sal’s attorney informed him it was illegal for an anonymous person to collect money.
The news media covered his crusade in the beginning but dropped it quickly because theydid not know who he was and feared a lawsuit. Pastors of churches and businesses also did not want to get involved for the same reason. Had Mr family revealed his identity, it would have helped his cause, and he would have gained support from the religious right. Elected officials felt the same way. He also pissed off Wilkes-Barre Township Officials by sending them a rather nasty email, something he never mentions in his blog. Truth is Wilkes-Barre Township officials will have nothing to do with him.

2. Hogging the Glory-. Even if Mr Family had come out of the closet, he would have need helpers, to spread the word, he simply did not recruit any people do this, he wanted to do everything himself, except go out in the cold and dark and risk getting caught to take pics of the cars. There could have been more prayer meetings, protests, publicity etc. Instead there was nothing, because Mr. Family wanted to hog the spotlight. Mr. Family put his ego ahead of the cause.

3. Pictures of Cars– Some Way, Some How- these pictures which varied from beyond blurry to pictures of car parts were suppose to scare away people from the club. So a pic of red Honda bumper supposedly fingered all the red Honda car owners say in a 50 mile radius. That narrowed it down to a few thousand people.
Mr Family swore by these pictures. He begged people to take pics and email them to him. Then, they became fewer and farther between, and then disappeared altogether, being taken down from his blogsite.
Most people who go to the club never heard of Mr Family. So if their car got on his blog site, they wouldn’t even know about it. And if someone were concerned about it, they could park somewhere else. Big mistake to think that these pictures were going to close down the club or even hurt business.

4. Not Everyone Thinks Like Mr Family- Mr Family thought that most everyone in Luzerne County would be behind his efforts. Truth is even persons who do not go to adult clubs support freedom of choice.

5. The Baby In the Club- This is Where It Begins To Get Weird. Mr Family claims to see a woman carrying a baby into the club while he is driving by.. He calls the police. Makes a big stink on his blog. " I swear to God it is true." No, you swear to God you want us to think it is true.
The club releases a photo from its security camera proving the woman is carrying a shopping bag.
The picture is available at www.gogclub10.com the website of our buddy Mr. Choice.
Mr. Family is all pissed off so he writes a false story that the club is videotaping its customers and releasing it on the internet.
Never tells his readers about the photo proving he is wrong though. The story proves that the man is not only vindictive but also he isn’t concerned about the truth.

6. Gossip, Rumors & Lies– Months Go By– Interest in Mr. Family is waning. Police did not believe the baby story. The picture takers are getting tired. What to do? Start some rumors! The club isn’t paying its bills. Business is bad. It’s going to close. The girls are druggies and hookers. Sex is going on in the back room. People are drinking in the parking lot. Cars are parking illegally in other lots when the parking lot is full- oops can’t say that if business is bad- bondage night is bringing criminals into Luzerne county. High school kids are going to the club. The gossip was suppose to rally his base. Many supporters were offended by his tactics and it got him nowhere.

7. Pick Another Cause- Claim Victory- & Make Your Self Look Good-
Obviously by now Mr. Family realizes he is getting nowhere, so he finds someone
new to pick on. Hopefully, he can win and make himself look good. His opponent, a billboard he finds offensive, the billboard advertises a local radio station. What Mr Family did not take into consideration that the station was owned by Citadel who owned hundreds of stations across the USA. He brought Lamar Advertising and PennDot into fray by posting their telephone numbers on his site to call to protest. Did no good. Mr Choice went on the Jim Bone show about the controversy. Mr Family wanted equal time. 97.9 said ok come on up. Mr family wanted to do it anonymously from home. 97.9 said no. Mr. Family bitched to Citadel headquarters. Citadel said
"We do not give anonymous people time on our stations" Mr Family was pissed. Meanwhile, 97.9 took down the billboard and moved it to the other side of the interstate. Mr Family thought that 97.9 had just taken down the billboard and claimed victory. When he found out the billboard was back up, he was REALLY PISSED and decided to get even. He posted libelous untrue statements about 97.9 interns and the telephone numbers of their corporate offices to complain. Mr. Choice and I promptly called their offices and complained about Mr Family. Later that day, that blog was gone from Mr. Family’s website and within 24 hours all the blogs about the billboard were gone too. Citadel issued a Cease and Desist Order against Mr. Family. Also, shortly thereafter all the car pics were also removed, leaving large gaps in his blogs.
Obviously, Mr Family must have gotten inquires from his readers why he removed these blogs.
Any comments about the billboard were removed from the comments sections. Then the comments sections were removed. Then finally came the " story" that Mr Family was mad at the township and going on break. It sounds to me like it all has caught up with " the man behind the curtain." He realizes he is not the brightest bulb in the marquee" and he has just messed up everything very badly. He has nowhere to go. He has failed to attract anyone with any clout to his cause. So it will go nowhere. Even the EFO story was proven false. EFO wants to move to an area where there is more pedestrian traffic, and less competition. The club has nothing to do with it. If Mr Family does come back, it will be interesting to see if he can come up with a new gimmick.

AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH AND MR. FAMILY

Mr. Family Want Followers To Believe Hiatus Is Because Of Township (WE Know Better)

What Mr. Family says makes no sense. "If the township doesn’t start enforcing their ordinances, then I am not going to post any more articles.". Wait, Shouldn’t it be the other way around?
Why would the township care anyway? It doesn’t . It is all in Mr. Family’s mind. It’s just the latest in the round of excuses to take the heat off Mr. Family for the legal hot water he got himself into over publishing libelous statements about Citadel Communication’s interns.
Truth is a disgraced and defeated Mr Family removed all the blogs about Citadel as well as the cars parked at the clubs he featured in pictures dating back to April of 2006. He has been silent to his followers as to why he has removed these. But we know the truth
We know certain other things about Mr. Family. Contrary to what Mr. Family thinks, The township officials do not hold him in high regard. He ( Mr family) is not a Wikes-Barre Township resident. He has stirred up much controversy and spread rumors. He is afraid to come to township meetings. The ordinances passed were aimed primarily at preventing new adult business from coming to the township, the township attorney has advised against trying to enforce them against existing adult businesses, Mr. Family knows this but refuses to accept this. According to Township, Mr family filed a false police report against the g-club ( baby in the club). Controversy about the club has died down except for Mr Family’s website, with that gone, there will be no more no more controversy.
EFO moving to a location with more pedestrian traffic, & with less nearby competition that is
Raymour & Flannigan, Ashley Furniture, CEO denies G-Club has anything to do with it.
Poor Mr. Family has run out of ideas to put on his website. His billboard crusade ended with a cease and desist order, the baby in the club charge was proven false by video footage, and so were the other 101 other things Mr family accused the club and every one else of doing in the past 11 months or so. Ho, hum, yawn, yawn. Here’s a message from the the Wilkes-Barre Township Supervisors : DON"T LET THE DOOR HIT YOU ON YOUR ASS ON THE WAY OUT!!

ATTORNEY ANSWERS OUR QUESTIONS

HOW CAN YOU ( MR FAMILY) TELL... THESE PICTURES WERE LEGALLY TAKEN IF YOU DID NOT TAKE THEM YOURSELF OR WERE NOT PRESENT WHEN THEY WERE TAKEN? ... HE HAS NO WAY OF KNOWING.

Susan Miller is an attorney in private practice. She recently retired from the Associated Press.
Susan’s statements are her own opinion and are not to be used as legal advice. Consult your attorney. These blogs may not be reprinted without permission. Write: cspp@epix.net

Sue has graciously allows us to interview her about legal issues surrounding bloggers.
In part one, we talk about picture taking.

MFF: After a three month absence, Mr Family has started publishing pictures of the club.
When and how is picture taking legal and illegal?

Sue: A picture taken in a public place, such as a street, of parked cars or other activity visible from that street is lawful because under these circumstances the person has no reasonable expectation of privacy. Tort issues regarding invasion of privacy arise when zoom lenses or telescopes or other technology is used to photograph things not visible to the ordinary eye in the location where the picture was taken.

MFF: Can you give some examples?

Sue: Let me add first, that pictures can be taken while engaging in lawful activity or unlawful activity. The pictures are subject to legal action if they violate a person’s reasonable expectation of privacy, not newsworthy, or a reasonable person would be offended by the publication.

MFF: That’s kind of confusing.

Sue; ok, I will give you a case I was involved in. The pastor of a church was upset that an adult bookstore opened about ½ mile down the road form the church. He encouraged persons to photograph cars and email to him. He published them on the internet and even in the church bulletin. The pastor and church were sued by one of the men whose car was photographed. I defended the church on grounds of first amendment protection, freedom of religion and many other reasons. We lost. The court ruled that 1. The parking lot is private property. 2. The bookstore is open only to a certain segment of the public, those 18 years and over not the general public at large. 3. The man parking there had a reasonable expectation of privacy, ie not being photographed. 4. His being there was not newsworthy. And 5. A reasonable person would be offended by the publication and the manner that the photographs were obtained.
What made the matter worse, the person who took the picture could not be located because it ws emailed. Other persons testified they used zoom lenses etc from private property to obtain photos.
and did not have permission from the property owner to do so. The bottom line the picture taking activity cost the church about 25k. The court also said the church engaged in "spying" and was not protected by the state or federal constitution. The court also questioned the practice of soliciting pictures on the internet..

MFF: Are parking lots of businesses , shopping malls etc public or private property?

Sue: They are private property, used by the public, subject to the terms and conditions set forth by the owner/lesee. For example: a fast food restaurant sign: 30 minute parking limit while consuming our food. That doesn’t mean you can shoot pictures of the strip club down the street while eating their hamburgers. Unless the owner specifically states photography is permitted, one can presume it is not. Ask for permission.

MFF: What do you think of Mr family’s picture taking activity?

Sue: I will repeat what the court said to us " How can you tell this court that these pictures were taken legally if you did not take them yourself or were present when they were taken?
You are soliciting pictures from persons over the internet, most of these persons you don’t know from Adam. At a minimum they are of dubious origin, at the worst they could have been altered or faked, or obtained through unlawful or questionable means.
You simply cannot make any representation whatsoever about most of these pictures."
I would say the same to Mr. Family. He has no way of knowing. Noting the three month absence, Mr Family may have run into the same legal problems I mentioned here. I also see the disclaimer which also indicates he probably ran into legal challenges. I appreciate Mr Family’s religious beliefs, but I fail to see how these pictures will serve any useful purpose, as he claims. It may come back to bite him. I reserve further comments until I read more of his blogs

Stay Tuned for Part 2: Libel

MR FAMILY STILL FEELING FALLOUT OVER BILLBOARD DISASTER

JUST LIKE A DOG WHO HAS SNAPPED AT ONE TOO MANY PEOPLE, MR. FAMILY HAS BEEN MUZZLED.

Straying from his usual nemesis, the g-club, Mr Family tried every trick in the book to have
97.9 radio remove their billboard, which wasn’t quite to his liking. But when he made up a story about its interns posing nude, the radio’s station owner, Citadel Broadcasting, placed it legal feet firmly on Mr Family, one squarely on his head, the other one in a place where the sun don’t shine.
Forced to remove every word he said about the radio station, Mr Family quickly scrambled to do more posts, even re-running his tirade over bondage night, this time without stealing the club’s ad.
But many if not most of his supporters are wondering what happened to the posts. Those who wasted a long distance call to Citadel are the most upset. They realize they were conned into complaining about a situation which never existed in the first place. They are embarrassed and feel used. Who can blame them. To add insult to injury, Mr Family will not respond to their inquires Any mention of the billboard or Citadel on the comments boards are being deleted by Mr Family

What a Christian way to treat your loyal supporters. Lie to them, have them waste their time and efforts to get your way, and then hide from them when the Sh*t hits the fan.

I guess Mr Family and I went to different Sunday schools. They didn’t teach me that there.
They did teach me about lying, bearing false witness by spreading lies and rumors, and taking responsibility for one’s own actions. Perhaps Mr Family wasn’t there those days at his bible school. What a shame.
And What terrible values to instill upon your children, ie it is ok to lie to get what you want.
Make up bad things about people you don’t like. Shirk responsibility. Run and hide if you get caught.

My father may have gone to a strip club in his day and with my mother’s knowledge. But he didn’t lie, gossip, or try to manipulate or use people to get his way. And when he made a mistake he admitted it and apologized. I am sure glad I had a dad like him and not like Mr. Family!

LIBEL, DEFORMATION, AND MR. FAMILY

HERE'S AN ARTICLE I FOUND ON THE INTERNET (USED WITH PERMISSION) ON LIBEL.
PAY ATTENTION AS THERE WILL BE A QUIZ AT THE END (KIDDING)
LET ME KNOW IF YOU THINK MR FAMILY IS GUILTY OF LIBEL.

The Bloggers' FAQ on Online Defamation Law provides an overview of defamation (libel) law, including a discussion of the constitutional and statutory privileges that may protect you.
What is defamation?
Generally, defamation is a false and unprivileged statement of fact that is harmful to someone's reputation, and published "with fault," meaning as a result of negligence or malice. State laws often define defamation in specific ways. Libel is a written defamation; slander is a spoken defamation.
What are the elements of a defamation claim?
The elements that must be proved to establish defamation are:
a publication to one other than the person defamed;
a false statement of fact;
that is understood as
a. being of and concerning the plaintiff; and b. tending to harm the reputation of plaintiff.
.
Is truth a defense to defamation claims?
Yes. Truth is an absolute defense to a defamation claim. But keep in mind that the truth may be difficult and expensive to prove.

What is a statement of verifiable fact?
A statement of verifiable fact is a statement that conveys a provably false factual assertion, such as someone has committed murder or has cheated on his spouse.
Is there a difference between reporting on public and private figures?
Yes. A private figure claiming defamation — your neighbor, your roommate, the guy who walks his dog by your favorite coffee shop — only has to prove you acted negligently, which is to say that a "reasonable person" would not have published the defamatory statem.......
Corporations are not always public figures. They are judged by the same standards as individuals.
If I write something defamatory, will a retraction help?
Some jurisdictions have retraction statutes that provide protection from defamation lawsuits if the publisher retracts the allegedly defamatory statement.IWhat if I change the person's name?
Do blogs have the same constitutional protections as mainstream media?
Yes. The US Supreme Court has said that "in the context of defamation law, the rights of the institutional media are no greater and no less than those enjoyed by other individuals and organizations engaged in the same activities."
What if I republish another person's statement? (i.e. someone comments on your posts)
Generally, anyone who repeats someone else's statements is just as responsible for their defamatory content as the original speaker — if they knew, or had reason to know, of the defamation. Recognizing the difficulty this would pose in the online world, Congress enacted Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act, which provides a strong protection against liability for Internet "intermediaries" who provide or republish speech by others. See the Section 230 FAQ for more. But Section 230 is not a panacea. While the vast weight of authority has held that Section 230 precludes liability for an intermediary's distribution of defamation, one California court has held that the federal law does not apply to an online distributor's liability in a defamation case. The case, Barrett v. Rosenthal, is under appeal to the California Supreme Court (EFF filed an amicus brief in this case).
What are some examples of libelous..... statements?
The following are a couple of examples from California cases; note the law may vary from state to state. Libelous (when false):
· Charging someone with being a communist (in 1959)
· Calling an attorney a "crook"
· Describing a woman as a call girl
· Accusing a minister of unethical conduct
· Accusing a father of violating the confidence of son
How do courts look at the context of a statement?
For a blog, a court would likely start with the general tenor, setting, and format of the blog, as well as the context of the links through which the user accessed the particular entry. Next the court would look at the specific context and content of the blog entry, analyzing the extent of figurative or hyperbolic language used and the reasonable expectations of the blog's audience. What is "Libel Per Se"?
When libel is clear on its face, without the need for any explanatory matter, it is called libel per se. The following are often found to be libelous per se: A statement that falsely:
· Charges any person with crime, or with having been indicted, convicted, or punished for crime;
· Imputes in him the present existence of an infectious, contagious, or loathsome disease;
· Tends directly to injure him in respect to his office, profession, trade or business, either by imputing to him general disqualification in those respects that the office or other occupation peculiarly requires, or by imputing something with reference to his office, profession, trade, or business that has a natural tendency to lessen its profits;
· Imputes to him impotence or a want of chastity.
Of course, context can still matter. If you respond to a post you don't like by beginning "Jane, you ignorant slut," it may imply a want of chastity on Jane's part. But you have a good chance of convincing a court this was mere hyperbole and pop cultural reference, not a false statement of fact.
What is a "false light" claim?
Some states allow people to sue for damages that arise when others place them in a false light. Information presented in a "false light" is portrayed as factual, but creates a false impression about the plaintiff (i.e., a photograph of plaintiffs in an article about sexual abuse, because it creates the impression that the depicted persons are victims of sexual abuse). False light claims are subject to the constitutional protections discussed above.
What is trade libel?
Trade libel is defamation against the goods or services of a company or business. For example, saying that you found a severed finger in you're a particular company's chili (if it isn't true).